Blood. I can't believe it. This can't be happening. Please don't let this be happening! I know of spotting during pregnancy is normal but this is NOT spotting, this is bleeding. I was really confused because I had no cramping whatsoever, what could this mean?? I started crying just not believing what I am seeing and hoping it isn't true. I immediately call the nurse line and start crying as I relate what is happening. She says the best thing for me to do is to go to the emergency room. She recommends me calling someone to take me to the ER incase I have pain while driving or just emotionally cannot do it. I call Danielle, she has the day off which thankfully works out perfectly, I tell her what is happening and that I have to go to the ER. She says she'll be right over. Then I immediately call James. I am crying and telling him what is happening and he is really upset. He is all the way downtown and takes the train to work everyday so he says he will check on the train schedule and give me a call back of when he can be there. A few minutes later he calls back and says that the most recent train just left at 1:40pm, it is now 1:43pm which means he has to wait another hour for the next train to leave at 2:40pm. Darn those trains! I tell him that the hospital is close to a train station so he can just walk right over. A 2:40pm departure means he will not be there until an hour later so he will finally make it to the hospital after 3:40pm, two hours after I had called him. Darn those trains!
Danielle comes by and she drives me to the hospital. We check in, I go to triage where they ask questions, get my blood and where we wait. Danielle and I are both emotional but not really talking. What is there to say when you are ready for the inevitable all over again? All I kept thinking was, three times Lord? Do I really have to go through this three times? I was making such progress, I just saw the baby last week, I've never seen my other two babies and you have to take this one too? But I also knew that if a miscarriage was indeed the case, that God would give us the strength to go through it just like he did the other times. And that we would come out stronger in faith and would praise him.
But I really didn't want to go through it again. Danielle and I were called to a room and the nurse and doctor came in. They were both extremely comforting to me. The doctor said they would get me to ultrasound as soon as they could to check on the baby and that he hoped it wasn't another miscarriage. He was warm and gentle which I really appreciated. James came in maybe 10 minutes after we were in my room. So it worked out that he was there before we found out the news. James read us a Psalm which was really comforting and we waited. Then it was time for ultrasound. They wheel me up to another floor with James and Danielle following.
The three of us enter the ultrasound room and then the tech guy does the ultrasound. I am not looking at the screen because I just can't bear to watch but then James says "oh, wow" and the tech says that the baby is still there. We listen to the heartbeat (James's first time seeing an ultrasound and hearing the heartbeat) and everything checks out okay. The tech does a thorough examination and even checks my ovaries. He does see the bleeding but it is not affecting the baby. For now the baby is bouncing all over the place and looking great. We are all so relieved. The tech even measures me to be a week ahead of what I thought I was. I thought that on that day I was exactly 10 weeks. He tells me I am 10 weeks and 5 days. So that was exciting as well. Praise God!
We go back down to the exam room and the doctor comes in to talk to us. He says I had what is called a "threatened miscarriage" which basicaly means bleeding during first trimester of pregnancy. He said nothing can be done. It might stop or it might continue, they just really don't know. But to know that the baby looks great and to have a follow-up with my doctor in the next few days.
James and I are extremely relieved. I, of course, am still worrying because I just really don't like the bleeding and the words "threatened miscarriage" really doesn't provide me with complete relief either. But we did see the baby, we heard the heartbeat and everything was fine.
I am exhausted the next day and look horrible. My mother-in-law stopped by for a couple of hours and I had zero energy to make conversation or do much of anything expect lie on the couch wrapped up in a blanket. Sunday morning was not much better and so James went to church by himself. We had decided not to tell our friends and church that I was pregnant until I was 12 weeks. But since the whole ER thing happened and I was measuring at 11 weeks on Sunday, we decided we needed their support and prayer and 11 weeks is far enough. So James was able to announce it at our church and everyone was overjoyed. They grieved with us over our last miscarriage and we had several people that told us they had been praying every day for us since then so it was wonderful to be able to tell them the news.
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