I had my follow-up appointment the following Tuesday and was nervous (do I never stop worrying!) The bleeding seemed to have subsided so I was encouraged by that. The doctor did an internal exam and said things looked alright and then she looked for the heartbeat with the doppler. She said she heard it but I couldn't really tell so we went to do an ultrasound again. Baby was still moving around and she said it looked beautiful. Not much more information was given besides what I had already known. They don't know what caused the bleeding, don't know if it will start up again, still a risk for a miscarriage, and not to really restrict any of my activities because nothing will really help. Not really comforting words but baby was still there which was great.
That week I wasn't feeling very well. The nausea and fatigue never really get any better and the bleeding had started again after my follow-up. So that didn't help comfort me. It seemed to get better by Saturday but then it happened all over again on Saturday night. I really hate the bleeding. On Sunday it was a little more alarming because not only was it straight up blood, but there was something else in it. Didn't look like clots looked more like tissue but can't say for sure. So I was worried and stressed all over again. So Monday I call the doctor and explain what is going on and that I want to come in and get things checked out. James decides to take the day off work so he can go to the doctor with me (which is a rare treat since his bosses are work Nazis). I get an late morning appointment and we go in. The doctor ultrasounds again (#6!) and baby is still kicking around in there. Ahh, I love seeing that little baby. I ask again about the bleeding and this time the doctor has more of an answer. ( I didn't understand things fully but will try my best to explain) He can see on the ultrasound that baby and placenta are looking good. Placenta is implanted on the left side but on the upper ride side there is a little gap between the uterine wall and a thin membrane. In that gap is where the bleeding is occuring. Basically the thin membrane needs to attach itself fully to the uterine wall, leaving no gap, and therefore no bleeding. I guess concerns are that the membrane will maybe continue to seperate from the uterine wall and go around to the placenta which would break that from the uterine wall and ultimately end in miscarriage. He said that the problem should resolve itself by week 13 (next week) which means I will have no more bleeding but if it does not then I will bleed throughout my pregnancy and be at risk for preterm labor and other things. He gave me a 75% chance of having a successful pregnancy. He also said again that there is nothing I can do at this point besides just not worry about it because we can't do anything. And if I wanted to, to go in every two weeks just to check on baby and the heartbeat but otherwise sit tight and wait.
I was glad that we seemed to have a bit more information on why I am bleeding and know what to expect in the next coming weeks. My prayer is that the bleeding will stop and that I can have a fairly normal remaining pregnancy. But this really just taught us that once again we are not in control, God is the one in control and all we can do is trust in him.
Trusting in the Lord seems to be a theme I am learning over and over and over again and yet I find myself needing to be reminded of it. How quickly I forget that he is in control! How often do I believe that my way is better and that he doesn't know what he is doing! Our wonderful Savior is constantly refining us as we go through the fire and he is making us more brilliantly beautiful everyday. That is what I am thankful for. That my Father in heaven loves me so much and wants to draw me closer to him that he is willing to let me go through pain and suffering so that I can see him more clearly and see what a loving and merciful God I have. This world is not our home. My husband is not my ultimate joy, this baby will not give me the satisfaction I need. Christ is my ultimate fulfillment and no matter how difficult this world can be we must remember that THIS is not our home. Our forever home will be with our glorious King and resurrected Savior. Hallelujah to that!
6 comments:
You are teaching me so much through your experiences. I'm proud to call you sister. Big hugs to you and many prayers are going up that the bleeding stops and you have a normal pregnancy and healthy baby at the end. I love you, girl!
Hi April! I came over to your blog from a link on Sunny's page. First of all, I just want to say CONGRATULATIONS!! I'm so excited for you. April, you have been in my thoughts and prayers DAILY and it's so wonderful to hear your words and to know that you have your faith even during these difficult times. I can't tell you how much I relate to your situation. I'm sure Sunny has told you, but I have had 3 miscarriages after I had Juliet and every single one of them was just heartbreaking. I truly believe that my faith is stronger now though then it ever was before I went through all of this. Really KNOWING that my strength is in the Lord. I SO see that in your words too. You are an amazing woman. I know it's not much cosolation,but even now that I am 22 weeks and can feel the baby moving around inside of me I can't completely let loose.... but it DOES get better. If you EVER need someone to talk to, I am here!! Congratulations again!! I will continue to lift you and the baby up in prayer and I can't wait to see pictures of that gorgeous kid in February!! =)
Congratulations April! We are so excited for you and cant wait to meet little baby! You will have to come to Bako for a visit soon after baby gets here! Keep us all posted on if baby is a boy/girl! Someday your little baby will feel so special to know what all you went through to give them life. You are amazing!
Kourtini- Thanks for your sweet words of encouragement and support. I know that you probably understand better than anyone just how stressful and scary this can be but its wonderful to know that God uses those situations to strengthen our faith. I was so excited for you when I heard that you were pregnant again so congrats to you as well! My women's bible study group have been keeping you in our prayers and I'm glad that everything has been going well for you. We're praying for the same thing for me! :)
Hi Angela- James definitely wants to find out the gender so I will be keeping everyone posted! Thanks for the excited and supportive comments. I feel uplifted by them beacuse its still a bit hard to feel too excited myself. BTW your son is adorable!
hi April-- I'm a friend of Sunny's, and I've been getting the updates about you from her, but I couldn't resist coming to check out your actual blog when I saw the link. :)
Anyway, I am SO excited for you, that you're pregnant!! but I am so, so sorry to hear about all the issues, complications, and hard things you've been having to deal with. I've been praying for you and your baby so much, and I sincerely hope it is God's will we'll all get to see this little one in February. But, more than anything, I am so encouraged and inspired to read of your strong faith in God and your trust in Him, no matter what His plan may be. It's amazing, and I am so grateful He's blessed you with such faith and perspective in this difficult period!
If you don't mind, I will be checking back often to see how you and Baby are doing. :) And you will be in my prayers continually.
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